Life as a Dream

Something kept bumping him in the head. He finally opened his eyes and realized he was bumping into the ceiling again. He twisted & tried to flip over, but he was still pinned against the ceiling. He scrapped his elbow and banged his head against the ceiling, then began to curse at the top of his voice as he still tried to twist around so he could push off his bedroom ceiling. He was still in the bedroom, thank God for small favors. Finally he was able to get himself turned around so his back was on the ceiling, feeling the bumps of the stucco paint bite at him as he now tried to sit up and then stand up. With effort he was able to push his ass off the ceiling, his legs under his butt now and him bent in half. He pushed with his arms, getting his head and chest up past his knees, feeling for a moment like he was going to slip and go down again. But he stood up straight, and then glanced up at the floor overhead. He was in between the easy chair in front of the TV/DVD player/VHS player, and his (collapsed still) bed. He didn't try to grab the chair, as he did with the bed (what?last night?) He would have fallen head first into the easy chair as soon as he had gotten a solid grip on it. Just like the bed last night. He now looked at the rope tied around his waist. Well, THAT didn't work. It hadn't anchored him to the ground. He looked at where it was looped around a leg of the dresser, then snaked off & looped around the leg of the other dresser. Last evening, he had tied the rope to himself & then the dresser, then went to bed. Two to three hours later he had sat up, frowning, then after some thought took off the rope & wrapped the rope around the second dresser, retied it around his waist & went back to sleep. He now tugged tentatively on the rope (with visions of him falling immediately to the floor and breaking his neck & then of the dressers falling upwards onto him breaking his back). He took a great breath, wrapped the rope around both hands, then pulled himself off the ceiling. He started to sweat buckets, rivers of sweat, his palms and hands and shoulders ached as he pulled himself several feet off the ceiling. His back and gut felt like he was tearing it apart when swung his legs up & over his head. "Goddamnmotherfuckingshitwhorefuck," he gasped as the rope tore his hands. Snot and sweat poured from his head as he gasped and bellowed. Then his feet touched the floor, and he almost fell into the bed. He stood, bent over, bloody hands staining the sheets as he gasped and gasped and finally was able to breath slower. He rolled over and sprawled on the bed, staring sightlessly at the ceiling as muttered over & over "Motherfucker." After twenty or so minutes, he stood up & staggered out of the bedroom. He walked on down the hall. He took a face from the ancient gallery; one half of the face was smiling and one half was weeping. He visited the room where his sister lay. She was laying in bed in a translucent baby-doll negligee. She stared at him with fear and opened her mouth as if to speak. Instead, a cloud of dragonflies flew out of her mouth & then her face became a gold mask with ivory teeth & diamond eyes. He aimed at her with a water-pistol. It barked & jumped in his hand when he pulled the trigger. Next he visited the room of his brother. His brother wore a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit and was bouncing a golden beach ball off the floor & walls & ceiling. His brother stopped playing with the ball when he saw him, staring at him, his lower lip trembling. His brother shrieked and ran to the open window and then out, rising high in the sky as he ran and ran and ran. He jumped to the window, took careful aim at his brother & dropped him with a burst from his gun. Then he walked on down the hall. He opened a door. On the other side was a mature couple. Mom was knitting. Dad was seated in his chair, reading the sports. He stepped in front of Pop. "Father," he said. Pop looked up from his paper. "Yes, son?" "I want to kill you," he said. Dad frowned, looked puzzled, then smiled and nodded. "Yes, son," he said and went back to reading his paper. He stared at his Dad & then thought, Well, that didn't go like I thought it would. He turned to his mother, and then he said, "Mother." She looked up from her knitting & smiled at him. "Yes, son?" He felt the next words would forever change things, himself, reality, the world. Jesus, was he still naked? He looked down at his bare thighs, which suddenly were covered with pants. "Mother," he began, "I want to -" "Screw me?" Mom asked in a kindly tone. " Oh, you youngsters, always full of bedevilment. OK, honey, we'll do the monkey-love thing. You're always cute when you get this way. I just have to finish this knitting, and then we'll do it. Let's do it on the kitchen table, hon, 'cuz I have a pie in the oven. I hope you don't take as long as last time. I still have to put up the preserves & chop the firewood & re-primer the jeep. Do you want me naked? Or do you like the garter & stockings outfit, like your Father does? Can we do it doggy-style? My lumbago has been acting up & it hurts like hell when I squirrel on my back. And don't make any remarks about my new tattoo. Some people say Brian Eno is God. Well, I think Mel Torme is God. So, there . ." Mom prattled on as she knitted. He stared at her, then looked at his father. His father had fallen asleep while reading the paper, with his mouth & eyes open. There were flies flying in and out of his mouth, and now a cloud of flies settled on his face. He realized his father was dead. He watched as his father's corpse turned black & was eaten by maggots down to a skeleton. The maggots turned to flies and flew away from the bones as the skeleton began to crumble to dust. Soon there was nothing in the chair, but the sports page. He stared at his father's slippers before the chair as Mom continued to prattle & knit. Jesus, he thought, and then looked at the dream on the windowsill, sunning itself as it slept. It was mainly green. A jungle of green ferns, moss covered trees, and ponds full of frogs floated inside the dream. Suddenly, leprechauns came dancing across the dream, then a herd of crocodiles, with parrots flying overhead. The dream made a noise, stretched, then settled down again, never really waking up. Boy, he thought, the green dream is sleeping furiously. Eventually, Mom finished her knitting, took off her clothes, took him by the hand, and led him into the kitchen. They did it missionary style, despite what Mom had said before. To his surprise, his orgasm wasn't that great. They lay together for awhile on the kitchen table, and then Mom got down, put on an apron, & checked the pie in the oven. Then she canned some preserves (it looked like locusts & honey) and placed them in the cellar. Which was kind of a hassle. They lived in a 42 story condo. Leaning out of the balcony, he watched through a telescope as she chopped firewood. She was in the cabin of what looked like a steam shovel, except where the shovel should have been was a huge circular saw. She was making short work of the redwoods behind the condo. Once she got a woodpile that was two stories high, she shut it off. She got out of the control cabin, & walked around to the back, clad in boots,jeans & a blue work shirt. She stopped, took off her hardhat, wiped her forehead with a bandanna, and then saw him watching her with the telescope. Smiling big, she waved at him for a second, then pushed a button. There was a rumble, and the shovel slowly transformed into a hummer-type vehicle. It had a shitty paint job. His mom pulled out a huge sander, plugged it into an extension cord, and plugged the cord into a power box on a tarred wooden pole. She started sanding the side of the jeep. She sanded the paint down to shiny metal. Paint chips were being thrown into the air. He noticed a cloud of the chips were rising towars him, sparkling green and purple and scarlet in the sun. The cloud hit the balcony, and he realized the chips were actually dragonflies. They settled on the balcony & the telescope, but shied away from him, which he was glad of. He looked back at the sliding glass door, & saw the dragonflies cover that too. He picked up a dragonfly from the telescope & studied it. It was scarlet, which he had never seen before. He cupped it in the palm of his hand, and it immediately buzzed off on its' wings. He looked around and saw the balcony was almost buried in the dragonflies -except none would land on him. Then the birds started to swoop down and eat the insects. Except they were flying lizards, not birds, looking like little crocodiles with huge wings. They flew up in a flock, gobbling down the dragonflies as fast as they could, chasing the insects on their rapid legs & spearing them with their tongues. Soon, there weren't many dragonflies left, and then there were no dragonflies left. The flying lizards licked their lips, and stared at him, then looked away, not moving their heads only their eyes, then stared at him again, then etc. Eventually one lizard jumped off the balcony, spread his wings and caught an updraft. Then all the lizards jumped off the balcony in twos and threes, flying off in wave after wave. The lizards were all gone from the balcony when he noticed they hadn't flown off. They all had been plucked from the sky by an enormous flock of bald eagles, which now perched on cacti, tearing reptile flesh & gulping it down.